Growing up, I used to think friends were impossible to find, I used to think I was meant to be a loner, I used to think I was unworthy of friendships, and lastly, I used to think I could live without friends…..that I could do it all on my own….

But the more I convinced myself that friendships were useless and worthless, the more tough and independent I became. I would do everything on my own, never asked for a peer’s advice, spent weekends by myself, ate lunch on my own, and even locked all my pain inside. I did not have a single person to turn to, to laugh with, or to share memories with.

On the other hand, I would look around and wonder why all my peers seemed to have so many friends and laughter, while I had nothing and no one to share memories, laugh, or spend time with.

I can’t stress how important it is to stay confident in yourself and block the negative energy from entering your heart.. I can’t stress how important it is to believe in your worthiness of friendships, and I can’t stress how important it is to have and trust in friendships.

Personally, I adopted this mentality and lack of interest in friendships because I had been excluded and mentally exhausted. Growing up, because I was treated like a nobody, because I was excluded, and because I was treated like I was a loser, I began to believe it…. and as a result, I adopted this mentality and belief that I was not meant to fit in, that I was a floater, a loser, and unworthy of friendships!!

How could I have let people believe I was an outsider? How could I have convinced myself they were right? How could I have deprived myself of friendships for so long?

I convinced myself that if everybody were like my peers: mean, materialistic, and judge mental, then what was the point of having friendships? I did not care about being popular or having the most attention or friends, I only cared about having true and real friendships. The kind of friendships that motivated everyone to be their best self, the kinds of friendships that produced love and unity.

I was a very mature kid, who did not see the point in having friendships at that age because I thought everyone was like my peers..isn’t that crazy? What I had not known was the fact that I was in a closed bubble, a bubble that consisted of a minuscule number of people in the world…..that in the future I would know why I had so many issues making friends.

At the time, I assumed the world was made up of a certain kind of people. But what I did not know were two things: the beauty of friendships, and the vast range in diversity of people.

What I mean by ‘vast range in diversity of people:’ The world is so large and diverse that if you know your values and the kinds of people you would like to associate with, you will eventually find your circle. At a young age, you do not see or experience the horizon of the world, you are only shown a small drop of the nation. Once you grow and mature, you will be blessed with the opportunity to explore… you will be met with happiness and fulfillment knowing you are not alone and that you have a group of people who share your values, interests, and knowledge. Even if it is one or two people, I encourage you to invest in those relationships, because friendships and relations are capable of renovating your morale and outlook.

What I mean by ‘beauty of friendships:’ I had not experienced the beauty of relation, nor friendships growing up; therefore, I did not know the level of impact it could have on my life and on my mental health. Finding friends was not easy for me, in fact, I still struggle at times, but after truly searching hard for real and genuine people to invest in, I instantly grew happier. I was not as gloomy, I was more positive, a sense of weight was lifted off of my shoulders, and I was able to realize that I was not the problem. That I was simply searching in the wrong pool of people for friendships.

I encourage you to remain who you are and to never change your ideas, mentality, values…NOTHING! Finding friends and building relations is not easy, but staying true to yourself will bring you your truest and realest circle of friends.

For those of you who are struggling to make friends or to connect with people, please know that the issue is not you. You could be looking in the wrong places, it could be that those people are not a great match for you, or it could even be that they are threatened by your personality.

Personally, I was excluded from friendships because I was the “mother hen,” the the “goody-goody,” and the girl who had “everything figured out.” Most people distanced themselves from me and chose to exclude me because they did not want to have someone that was “serious,” proactive, or mature in their friendship. At the time, I was hurt and sad..I was frustrated…but I was not willing to change myself.

I want you to know that if you feel the way I felt towards friendships, or if you encounter frustration from not having genuine friendships, that you are never the problem, that you are worthy of friendships and that you will find your circle.

If you want to hear more or have any questions, never hesitate to ask! We are all here for each other!