In my opinion, originality and diversity are what makes this world unique, interesting, and beautiful. Therefore, just like the world flaunts its abundant amounts of boldness, spirit, and creativity, we must do the same!! We must praise our original features because, ultimately, that is what makes us so unique, interesting, and beautiful!!!
I recently posted a poll and asked how many of you all experienced judgment for your looks, actions, interests, style, or originality. I want to discuss this further because I feel like judgment and exclusion, are incredibly relevant in our society, especially within the younger crowd. It is so sad that many people are laughed at for the qualities that define them and mold them into unique and dynamic human beings. It is beyond heartbreaking to encounter girls alter the way they dress or act because they are afraid of exclusion or judgment!
Each of you all must be confident in who you are and in what you do! Dress however you like, pursue whatever you like, look the way you want, etc! Never let anyone take that away from you, shame you, limit you, or alter the way you function!! YOU set the tone, YOU determine your success and capabilities, and YOU write your own story, they do not!
Sometimes it’s the small things that urge you to shy away from what you love and what you are passionate about. I was mocked for wearing this hat and called ugly because it “didn’t suit me.” I was told, “step down, because you aren’t as cute as you think,” and, “It’s funny how you think you actually look good.” People said I was, “conceited and stuck up.” So of course, I immediately grew uncomfortable and embarrassed for wearing the hat!! I stopped wearing it, and rather than loving the vibe, I hated it! Just like that!! Within seconds, my entire perception changed!!
Throughout my life I was made fun of for my curly hair, my body type, my nationality, my style, the way I acted, and even what I was passionate about!! I let other people’s words dictate my action and EVEN my opinions of myself…I encourage you all to build an internal wall and block the judgment from entering. So here is my attempt to build the wall and block the judgment! I loved this hat and the way it made me feel! Here is a picture of my hat and me in Shanghai! What are you doing to prove you are blocking the judgment from influencing you!!
I want to get real with you all, and share the way I felt when I was made fun of for numerous factors that molded me into who I was…..
Everyone has a dream, a passion, and a vision for themselves!….If you think about it, people are beyond inspiring! What is so amazing to think about is the idea that all of us have different passions and interests. That would suggest that we are all capable of achieving a diverse range of success! If you gather a group of people, it is incredible and inspiring to hear the diverse range of talent, vision, and dreams! Anywhere you go, whether it be a restaurant or even your community of friends, if you truly dig deep, you will be met with amazement and surprise!
The part that makes me sad is when people don’t pursue or invest in their personal goals or dreams! You must know how valuable and important your dreams are! Your contribution, efforts, and actions are enormously appreciated and obtain so much worth! Never forget it!
When you aren’t chasing your dreams, you aren’t truly living your life to the fullest! If you find yourself doing the opposite of investing in your vision or striving to achieve your dreams, I guarantee you this is why:
You are fearful:
This feeling is beyond normal! I personally have encountered numerous moments in which I was terrified to take action. I was scared to fail, worried what other people thought of me, and talked myself into thinking I was not good enough!
I was scared to failbecause I wanted so bad to prove to my peers that I was not a loser anymore, I was scared to failbecause I was so hard on myself, and I was scared to fail because I lost my confidence.
Here is where I was wrong: I was worried about other people’s opinions and thoughts of my own performance. I gave them the satisfaction and the ability to judge my personal achievements! I was so focused on the negative energy, rather than on the loving and supportive family I had. In life, it is so easy to focus on the negative, but I encourage you to surround yourself with those who genuinely care for you, and focus on the positive. Lastly, I wanted to prove I was not a loser anymore. I always heard the saying, “kill them with kindness,” so I wanted to to communicate my strength and worth to those who made me feel like a loser!! #1: I was not a loser! #2: I should have never given them the glory or an ounce of thought! Who cares what such people think! There will always be people who are not satisfied with you, people will always have something to say, and every single person will not love you…it is life! But, you certainly must obtain strength, find a supportive circle, and obtain determination to succeed for YOURSELF..not for others!
Tip 1:Never do things with the intentions and hopes to satisfy others. If you go about life wanting to prove your worth to others, you will never find the kind of success you wish. Approval in others only produces short term happiness, it is not fulfilling! When working for others or the approval of someone else, you are digging yourself a hole! You will always limit yourself and never obtain true satisfaction because when you are working to please others, there is no limit or consistent approval!!
You are embarrassed:
I am pretty sure we all have experienced embarrassment….I know I have! It is okay to feel this way; we are human! However, it is not okay to let other people’s input make you feel embarrassed of your goals! Personally, I limited myself and compromised my goals because I was worried how others would see it, I let other people’s belittling comments get in my head, and I LET OTHER PEOPLE STEER THE WHEEL! Crazy!
Here is where I was wrong: I let external forces determine my internal emotion, my mentality, and my attitude! In life, we must be willing to ignore the nasty comments, or else we will never make progress! Channel negative comments into energy! Use it to motivate yourself, rather than slow yourself down! Also, you must understand that other people have no right to determine your success or capabilities; therefore, never grant hem control over your actions or morale!
Tip 2: Never let other people steer the wheel! You must set the tone and keep your eyes on the target! The moment you allow other people’s thoughts and opinions through the door will be the moment you mentally decline. I encourage you to make a plan for yourself and remind yourself each day of your amazing capabilities! I encourage you to build your confidence and practice self-love so that when you meet external challenges, you are equipped and untouchable!
You doubt yourself:
Never doubt your capabilities! You are worthy of so much, and I guarantee the moment you grant yourself the credit and support you deserve, you will obtain so much validation and courage! Taking action and putting yourself out there takes guts and so much boldness; therefore, it starts within! I encourage you to remind yourself of your strength and capability each day and work on your confidence…this does not happen overnight. Personally, I was very hard on myself and occasionally doubted my abilities. I always asked myself if I was enough or if what I was doing could have been done better. I only focused on the negative and worried about every possible thing!
Here is where I was wrong: I was so tough on myself, that it became limiting! I did not give myself the positive energy I needed to function. I worried so much about every possible scenario (for example, if my blog would be un-relatable, terrible quality, not enjoyable, etc.). In addition, I always told myself I could have done better or that something was missing! I never allowed myself room for ‘trial and error.’ I only accepted ‘trial and perfect.’ That was it!
Tip 3: Never stand in the way of your success and never limit yourself! Grant yourself room and freedom to explore…and if you make a mistake, learn from it! Do not beat yourself down before giving yourself a chance! When you are taking action or chasing your dreams, NEVER worry about the millions of scenarios that could take place, only ponder and consider the positive outcomes! Lastly, go for it and never give up!
You can’t find the time:
Time is valuable, and trust me; I always complain there aren’t enough hours in a day! However, I can’t stress how essential time is to achieve your goals! I wanted to do so much; however, my schedule did not allow me to pursue specific goals! Also, I was strict about performing with the best quality or not performing at all. There was no compromise! Therefore, it was difficult for me to take action, since I did not have the time to perfect what I wanted to do!
Tip 4: If you genuinely are passionate about doing something, you will find the time! People need to reflect upon their workload and discern whether or not what they are doing brings them happiness/is worth it. Remove the small things that consume your time! Make room for yourself to invest in your goals! I also encourage you to create a plan and strengthen your organization skills. Once I cleared my plate from a couple of things, I immediately developed an organized plan. You will become extremely productive if you utilize organization skills and strategy!
Keep in mind:Things don’t happen overnight. Time is key! I encourage you to find the time and invest your energy into achieving your dreams!
Your dreams are worth it, and they are never too big or too small! Never let others, and most importantly, your self stand in your way! There should be nothing between you and your dream! Go for it!
Keep in mind: If we stopped hiding our light, neglecting our dreams, or even ignoring our goals, our world would be so much more vibrant and concentrated with talent and ambition! Let’s stop the cycle of shying away from your goals, and let’s set the trend of CHASING IT!
Send me your thoughts and what you are experiencing! Always here to chat!
Has anyone felt embarrassed of their bodies or uncomfortable in their own skin?
Confession time: That was ME!!
I had the largest thighs, and no matter how hard I tried to get rid of them, they stayed large and muscular for everyone to see and judge. I tried Soulcycle, fitness, running, dieting, and more! I was desperate to lean and slim my legs and at times I would cry in my room and hide from the world in hopes of not being seen.
People labeled me as fat, and my peers at school hollered things like, “Here comes big thighs,” and I was even referred to as “drumstick legs.”
I wanted so bad to have toothpick legs and I was willing to do anything.
There were days I missed birthday parties, swim gatherings, and special events strictly for the purposes of trying to hide my body and my insecurities. I never noticed my “flaws” until people had mentioned them, and once they did, I became fixated on them.
Never limit yourself or hide your face from the world in hopes of masking your body or your insecurities. At the end of the day, EVERYONE has a flaw, and why not embrace it and start a trend? Even supermodels have insecurities, yet they pose on magazines and embrace their bodies and their looks. I have grown to learn how to love myself and realize that my thighs are different and beautiful!
I have become a strong believer in originality, and why not start the trend?
Who gets to declare or even claim what is beautiful and what is not?
No one has the right to claim what beauty is, the only person who can label beauty is yourself. If you show that you are grateful and proud of your body, you will become less of a target and more of an inspiration to others seeking assurance and confidence!
After I started to embrace my thighs and my originality, I noticed that many people around me began to “work” their thighs, rather than feel ashamed and cover them!
At the end of the day, you set the tone, and you start the trends!
Sometimes you have to be the one willing to get out there and create style by owning and working your insecurities.
Imagine if more people embraced their flaws, would they even be flaws anymore??
Flaws are things we give negative attention to, but if we begin showing positive attention to it, I would say it would be less of a flaw and more of an asset!
Hello everyone, I want to talk about something that has been on my mind for quite some time now…
Our nation is facing some extremely rough times, and it breaks my heart to see it! I know for a fact that everyone in some way, shape, or form is effected. However, I encourage everyone to stay positive, motivated, and happy. I know it is tough to wear a smile amidst such tough moments; however, I encourage you all to utilize this time and invest in yourself. Strengthen your mental state, review where you need improvement, invest your time in a motivational book, or maybe even repair friendships.
Whatever is weighing you down….I challenge you to work on it! I challenge you to end corona stronger than you were before it consumed our world! This is the time to exercise, work on relationships, write a book (if that’s your goal), read a book, work on yourself, reflect on your behavior, mental state, and attitude….whatever it is! I challenge you to focus on one thing and work each day towards it!
We are all capable of wonders; therefore, I am confident we will get through this as soon as possible! Remember how strong you are and make sure to remind yourself of it continuously!
Here for you all, let me know if you want to chat!
Growing up, I used to think friends were impossible to find, I used to think I was meant to be a loner, I used to think I was unworthy of friendships, and lastly, I used to think I could live without friends…..that I could do it all on my own….
But the more I convinced myself that friendships were useless and worthless, the more tough and independent I became. I would do everything on my own, never asked for a peer’s advice, spent weekends by myself, ate lunch on my own, and even locked all my pain inside. I did not have a single person to turn to, to laugh with, or to share memories with.
On the other hand, I would look around and wonder why all my peers seemed to have so many friends and laughter, while I had nothing and no one to share memories, laugh, or spend time with.
I can’t stress how important it is to stay confident in yourself and block the negative energy from entering your heart.. I can’t stress how important it is to believe in your worthiness of friendships, and I can’t stress how important it is to have and trust in friendships.
Personally, I adopted this mentality and lack of interest in friendships because I had been excluded and mentally exhausted. Growing up, because I was treated like a nobody, because I was excluded, and because I was treated like I was a loser, I began to believe it…. and as a result, I adopted this mentality and belief that I was not meant to fit in, that I was a floater, a loser, and unworthy of friendships!!
How could I have let people believe I was an outsider? How could I have convinced myself they were right? How could I have deprived myself of friendships for so long?
I convinced myself that if everybody were like my peers: mean, materialistic, and judge mental, then what was the point of having friendships? I did not care about being popular or having the most attention or friends, I only cared about having true and real friendships. The kind of friendships that motivated everyone to be their best self, the kinds of friendships that produced love and unity.
I was a very mature kid, who did not see the point in having friendships at that age because I thought everyone was like my peers..isn’t that crazy? What I had not known was the fact that I was in a closed bubble, a bubble that consisted of a minuscule number of people in the world…..that in the future I would know why I had so many issues making friends.
At the time, I assumed the world was made up of a certain kind of people. But what I did not know were two things: the beauty of friendships, and the vast range in diversity of people.
What I mean by ‘vast range in diversity of people:’ The world is so large and diverse that if you know your values and the kinds of people you would like to associate with, you will eventually find your circle. At a young age, you do not see or experience the horizon of the world, you are only shown a small drop of the nation. Once you grow and mature, you will be blessed with the opportunity to explore… you will be met with happiness and fulfillment knowing you are not alone and that you have a group of people who share your values, interests, and knowledge. Even if it is one or two people, I encourage you to invest in those relationships, because friendships and relations are capable of renovating your morale and outlook.
What I mean by ‘beauty of friendships:’ I had not experienced the beauty of relation, nor friendships growing up; therefore, I did not know the level of impact it could have on my life and on my mental health. Finding friends was not easy for me, in fact, I still struggle at times, but after truly searching hard for real and genuine people to invest in, I instantly grew happier. I was not as gloomy, I was more positive, a sense of weight was lifted off of my shoulders, and I was able to realize that I was not the problem. That I was simply searching in the wrong pool of people for friendships.
I encourage you to remain who you are and to never change your ideas, mentality, values…NOTHING! Finding friends and building relations is not easy, but staying true to yourself will bring you your truest and realest circle of friends.
For those of you who are struggling to make friends or to connect with people, please know that the issue is not you. You could be looking in the wrong places, it could be that those people are not a great match for you, or it could even be that they are threatened by your personality.
Personally, I was excluded from friendships because I was the “mother hen,” the the “goody-goody,” and the girl who had “everything figured out.” Most people distanced themselves from me and chose to exclude me because they did not want to have someone that was “serious,” proactive, or mature in their friendship. At the time, I was hurt and sad..I was frustrated…but I was not willing to change myself.
I want you to know that if you feel the way I felt towards friendships, or if you encounter frustration from not having genuine friendships, that you are never the problem, that you are worthy of friendships and that you will find your circle.
If you want to hear more or have any questions, never hesitate to ask! We are all here for each other!
Big Girl In a Small World is my pride and joy! I created this blog because I am incredibly excited to spread girl power,motivation,andpositivity!
Growing up, I faced exclusion and bullying, and as a result, I was left scarred and full of pain… but rather than keep my mouth shut, I want to build unity, build each other up, and most of all, spread love to those who seek it! So….who’s in? It only take a handful of people to make a difference!
Watch this video below to learn more! Hop on this journey with me!
Does anyone feel like they are constantly excluded or avoided?
Whether it be at school, in a friend group, or even in a workplace, the feeling of rejection is a tough pill to swallow.
Personally, I have experienced the awful feeling of being excluded, ignored, and shunned all due to either my physical appearances, good morals, strong ambitions, and even nationality. No matter how hard I tried to prove to my peers and my friends that I was just like one of them, they never included me in conversations, friend groups, or celebrations, and they always stared at me as if I was a creature from another planet….
Although they caused me pain and anger in my heart, I wanted so bad to be treated like a human being. I worked tirelessly to modify who I was, so that I could be enough in their eyes and socially approved of, rather than disgraced.
Lesson #1: Never, ever attempt to change your looks, your appearance or style for anyone, and most importantly, be proud of the way you were made and of your personality! Everyone is different and unique and deserves to be treated with respect!
I wasted so much time trying to be accepted and it truly put a heavy load on my heart. The fact that I felt like I was never good enough and that I always had to be someone else for others made me fall into a hole of depression and feel like a waste of space. After constant reminders that my physical appearances were not preferred, my goals and morals were considered “goody goody” or “try hard,” and even after being reminded that I was strange for being half Middle Eastern made me lose passion and drive to be around anyone.
Yes, my skin tone was not the lightest, I was not the most gorgeous young girl or the skinniest, but I had a heart and ambitions the size of the world. I was a very loving and accepting person who never caused harm to anyone and who simply desired acceptance and friendship. I did not have a clue why I was so deeply rejected and ashamed of, but one day, I put my foot down and realized how oppressed I was and what I was unintentionally doing to myself.
I was oppressing myself each time I did not fully let myself shine in hopes of not being told I was a “try hard,” I oppressed myself each time I did not take the solo in choir or submit my writings or artwork to competitions even though I was the best in the class, I oppressed myself each time I put my looks down and desired straight, blonde hair rather than the dark, thick, curly hair I possessed, and lastly, I oppressed myself the moment I began to believe my goals were incapable of achieving.
In this point of my life, I have become very confident and accepting of who I am. My experience and realization at such a young age that I was only limiting myself by trying to be accepted or by trying to appear tasteful to the eyes of the public shaped me into a very sophisticated and fearless young woman. In this day in age, we all must never limit ourselves simply for the desire to fit in or feel accepted. I could have achieved so much more and avoided the excruciating pain I put myself through if I had just realized sooner that I was unique and worthy in my own eyes and that I did not need to be in anyone else’s eyes.
Lesson #2: Never shy away from who you are or remove the spotlight from yourself in hopes of being discreet or not looked upon as a “try hard” or “goody goody.” Those people are simply threatened by your talents and your passions because you are a mirror to them who they should be and how they should be on the inside.
Lesson #3: you are special and you better believe it! By shying away in hopes of fitting in, you are only limiting yourself! Everybody was given a passion and ambitions, but it is those who put their gifts to action that make a difference in this world! Do you think that if I continued to shy away from my passions and talents for the purpose of fitting in with others and not being excluded, that I would have worked up the confidence to create A Big Girl In a Small World?Because I faced a form of exclusion all my life and was broken down so many times, I developed a passion to make sure others became free from the pain of bullying or exclusion. Although times can become tough, there is always a brighter side.
Just like I did, you can use your voice and your pain in hopes of making a difference. I encourage you to reach in and locate the brighter side!
The amount of pain and damage to your confidence that comes along with exclusion is devastating, and because I know what it feels like to become depressed and completely lonely, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and stop shying away from the spotlight.
So how does my life look now?
Now I do not worry about others laughing at me for sanding out and I certainly do not keep on the “down low” in hopes of fitting in! I created this blog because I was passionate and had ambitions to share with others what it means to be a fighter and show them that determination never goes wasted! Most importantly, I bleive in myself, I am confident in myself, and I know my worthiness of love, approval, and attention. Lastly, I stay true to who I am and follow my own rules! My values, goals, and motivation are never compromised by the desire to fit in!
I challenge you in times of devastation to transfer all your pain into passion and use your gifts for the better! If you have faced exclusion or loneliness, remember that there is nothing wrong with you! Typically, those who are rejected are the ones that people envy or desire to be like. It gave me great confidence when I realized that I was in the right and only rejected because I mirrored to others what they wanted and desired to be like.
Remember that you are special and on this Earth for a reason. I encourage you to find you and use it to positively impact those around you. Exclusion is painful, but what is more painful is when you let exclusion overpower YOUR talent and YOUR ambitions!
Hello everyone! I have waited quite some time to upload some inspirational blogs and stories.
The truth is, I am a regular person… specifically, a regular girl, who wants to make a difference and who wants to share her stories and wisdom with you all. But because I am just a regular girl, I experience fear and apprehension when it comes to putting myself out there…
Does anyone else ever feel purpose and passion to say or do something, yet shy away?
I am being open with you all about this because I feel like it is important to locate and address our personal fears and worries. I want to put an end to covering up our weakness’ and worries…I want to start the trend of speaking up and being honest with ourselves. I want everyone to know that it is okay to feel a certain way, it is okay to feel like you do not have everything sorted out, it is okay to feel stressed.
With that being said, I am calling myself out and facing my worries. I am declaring my nerves and worries stop here …. I want to share priceless moments with you all and let my voice be heard.
So here is a challenge:
YOU DO YOU! Never shy away from your goals, visions, or even your smallest hopes! Because no matter the size or impact of your dreams or aspirations, they are the MOST IMPORTANT…. because they are YOUR personal hopes, vision, and goals.
Just a quick chat to all the beautiful and powerful women!
Today, as I got in the car and turned on the radio, I fell in awe of the trees that enveloped my car, admired beautiful skyscrapers as I drove by downtown, and appreciated the numerous parks and areas full of precious nature and sunshine! I woke up in a grateful spirit, and not only that, but I was feeling a peaceful and grateful spirit!
Reflecting upon today, I wish I could feel the way I did every single day! I wish I could experience such a calm and peaceful mindset, feel relaxed, and be at ease with my current stage in life! Does this happen to anyone else?
I am grateful for the feeling and taste of such an amazing and positive feeling, because now each day, I will try my best to take life as it comes, look around, be present, appreciate the small things I consistently look over, and fall at ease with myself and proud of myself no matter the current situation!
I urge you to sit outside and look up at the sky and just breathe! I urge you to find a quiet spot and capture some alone time for yourself to simply breathe, reflect, and seek gratitude in the small things! I urge you to grab a book, sip a tea or a smoothie, pack a small snack, and simply rest outside while emjoying a meal to yourself! Grab some headphones, go for a walk in the park, and simply breathe while taking in the beauty of nature and the warmness of sunlight!
It is the small things that truly contribute to relaxation and self reflection!
Let me know what you do in hopes of seeking peace and quietness! If you have ever encountered such a thing, let me know! I will be waiting to hear if you try any of the things I suggested!