Does anyone feel like they are constantly excluded or avoided?

Whether it be at school, in a friend group, or even in a workplace, the feeling of rejection is a tough pill to swallow. 

Personally, I have experienced the awful feeling of being excluded, ignored, and shunned all due to either my physical appearances, good morals, strong ambitions, and even nationality. No matter how hard I tried to prove to my peers and my friends that I was just like one of them, they never included me in conversations, friend groups, or celebrations, and they always stared at me as if I was a creature from another planet….

Although they caused me pain and anger in my heart, I wanted so bad to be treated like a human being. I worked tirelessly to modify who I was, so that I could be enough in their eyes and socially approved of, rather than disgraced. 

Lesson #1: Never, ever attempt to change your looks, your appearance or style for anyone, and most importantly, be proud of the way you were made and of your personality! Everyone is different and unique and deserves to be treated with respect!

I wasted so much time trying to be accepted and it truly put a heavy load on my heart. The fact that I felt like I was never good enough and that I always had to be someone else for others made me fall into a hole of depression and feel like a waste of space. After constant reminders that my physical appearances were not preferred, my goals and morals were considered “goody goody” or “try hard,” and even after being reminded that I was strange for being half Middle Eastern made me lose passion and drive to be around anyone. 

Yes, my skin tone was not the lightest, I was not the most gorgeous young girl or the skinniest, but I had a heart and ambitions the size of the world. I was a very loving and accepting person who never caused harm to anyone and who simply desired acceptance and friendship. I did not have a clue why I was so deeply rejected and ashamed of, but one day, I put my foot down and realized how oppressed I was and what I was unintentionally doing to myself. 

I was oppressing myself each time I did not fully let myself shine in hopes of not being told I was a “try hard,” I oppressed myself each time I did not take the solo in choir or submit my writings or artwork to competitions even though I was the best in the class, I oppressed myself each time I put my looks down and desired straight, blonde hair rather than the dark, thick, curly hair I possessed, and lastly, I oppressed myself the moment I began to believe my goals were incapable of achieving. 

In this point of my life, I have become very confident and accepting of who I am. My experience and realization at such a young age that I was only limiting myself by trying to be accepted or by trying to appear tasteful to the eyes of the public shaped me into a very sophisticated and fearless young woman. In this day in age, we all must never limit ourselves simply for the desire to fit in or feel accepted. I could have achieved so much more and avoided the excruciating pain I put myself through if I had just realized sooner that I was unique and worthy in my own eyes and that I did not need to be in anyone else’s eyes. 

Lesson #2: Never shy away from who you are or remove the spotlight from yourself in hopes of being discreet or not looked upon as a “try hard” or “goody goody.” Those people are simply threatened by your talents and your passions because you are a mirror to them who they should be and how they should be on the inside. 

Lesson #3: you are special and you better believe it! By shying away in hopes of fitting in, you are only limiting yourself! Everybody was given a passion and ambitions, but it is those who put their gifts to action that make a difference in this world! Do you think that if I continued to shy away from my passions and talents for the purpose of fitting in with others and not being excluded, that I would have worked up the confidence to create A Big Girl In a Small World? Because I faced a form of exclusion all my life and was broken down so many times, I developed a passion to make sure others became free from the pain of bullying or exclusion. Although times can become tough, there is always a brighter side. 

Just like I did, you can use your voice and your pain in hopes of making a difference. I encourage you to reach in and locate the brighter side! 

The amount of pain and damage to your confidence that comes along with exclusion is devastating, and because I know what it feels like to become depressed and completely lonely, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and stop shying away from the spotlight.

So how does my life look now?

Now I do not worry about others laughing at me for sanding out and I certainly do not keep on the “down low” in hopes of fitting in! I created this blog because I was passionate and had ambitions to share with others what it means to be a fighter and show them that determination never goes wasted! Most importantly, I bleive in myself, I am confident in myself, and I know my worthiness of love, approval, and attention. Lastly, I stay true to who I am and follow my own rules! My values, goals, and motivation are never compromised by the desire to fit in!

I challenge you in times of devastation to transfer all your pain into passion and use your gifts for the better! If you have faced exclusion or loneliness, remember that there is nothing wrong with you! Typically, those who are rejected are the ones that people envy or desire to be like. It gave me great confidence when I realized that I was in the right and only rejected because I mirrored to others what they wanted and desired to be like.

Remember that you are special and on this Earth for a reason. I encourage you to find you and use it to positively impact those around you. Exclusion is painful, but what is more painful is when you let exclusion overpower YOUR talent and YOUR ambitions!      

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