Does anyone feel like they are constantly excluded or avoided?
Whether it be at school, in a friend group, or even in a workplace, the feeling of rejection is a tough pill to swallow.
Personally, I have experienced the awful feeling of being excluded, ignored, and shunned all due to either my physical appearances, good morals, strong ambitions, and even nationality. No matter how hard I tried to prove to my peers and my friends that I was just like one of them, they never included me in conversations, friend groups, or celebrations, and they always stared at me as if I was a creature from another planet….
Although they caused me pain and anger in my heart, I wanted so bad to be treated like a human being. I worked tirelessly to modify who I was, so that I could be enough in their eyes and socially approved of, rather than disgraced.
Lesson #1: Never, ever attempt to change your looks, your appearance or style for anyone, and most importantly, be proud of the way you were made and of your personality! Everyone is different and unique and deserves to be treated with respect!
I wasted so much time trying to be accepted and it truly put a heavy load on my heart. The fact that I felt like I was never good enough and that I always had to be someone else for others made me fall into a hole of depression and feel like a waste of space. After constant reminders that my physical appearances were not preferred, my goals and morals were considered “goody goody” or “try hard,” and even after being reminded that I was strange for being half Middle Eastern made me lose passion and drive to be around anyone.
Yes, my skin tone was not the lightest, I was not the most gorgeous young girl or the skinniest, but I had a heart and ambitions the size of the world. I was a very loving and accepting person who never caused harm to anyone and who simply desired acceptance and friendship. I did not have a clue why I was so deeply rejected and ashamed of, but one day, I put my foot down and realized how oppressed I was and what I was unintentionally doing to myself.
I was oppressing myself each time I did not fully let myself shine in hopes of not being told I was a “try hard,” I oppressed myself each time I did not take the solo in choir or submit my writings or artwork to competitions even though I was the best in the class, I oppressed myself each time I put my looks down and desired straight, blonde hair rather than the dark, thick, curly hair I possessed, and lastly, I oppressed myself the moment I began to believe my goals were incapable of achieving.
In this point of my life, I have become very confident and accepting of who I am. My experience and realization at such a young age that I was only limiting myself by trying to be accepted or by trying to appear tasteful to the eyes of the public shaped me into a very sophisticated and fearless young woman. In this day in age, we all must never limit ourselves simply for the desire to fit in or feel accepted. I could have achieved so much more and avoided the excruciating pain I put myself through if I had just realized sooner that I was unique and worthy in my own eyes and that I did not need to be in anyone else’s eyes.
Lesson #2: Never shy away from who you are or remove the spotlight from yourself in hopes of being discreet or not looked upon as a “try hard” or “goody goody.” Those people are simply threatened by your talents and your passions because you are a mirror to them who they should be and how they should be on the inside.
Lesson #3: you are special and you better believe it! By shying away in hopes of fitting in, you are only limiting yourself! Everybody was given a passion and ambitions, but it is those who put their gifts to action that make a difference in this world! Do you think that if I continued to shy away from my passions and talents for the purpose of fitting in with others and not being excluded, that I would have worked up the confidence to create A Big Girl In a Small World? Because I faced a form of exclusion all my life and was broken down so many times, I developed a passion to make sure others became free from the pain of bullying or exclusion. Although times can become tough, there is always a brighter side.
Just like I did, you can use your voice and your pain in hopes of making a difference. I encourage you to reach in and locate the brighter side!
The amount of pain and damage to your confidence that comes along with exclusion is devastating, and because I know what it feels like to become depressed and completely lonely, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and stop shying away from the spotlight.
So how does my life look now?
Now I do not worry about others laughing at me for sanding out and I certainly do not keep on the “down low” in hopes of fitting in! I created this blog because I was passionate and had ambitions to share with others what it means to be a fighter and show them that determination never goes wasted! Most importantly, I bleive in myself, I am confident in myself, and I know my worthiness of love, approval, and attention. Lastly, I stay true to who I am and follow my own rules! My values, goals, and motivation are never compromised by the desire to fit in!
I challenge you in times of devastation to transfer all your pain into passion and use your gifts for the better! If you have faced exclusion or loneliness, remember that there is nothing wrong with you! Typically, those who are rejected are the ones that people envy or desire to be like. It gave me great confidence when I realized that I was in the right and only rejected because I mirrored to others what they wanted and desired to be like.
Remember that you are special and on this Earth for a reason. I encourage you to find you and use it to positively impact those around you. Exclusion is painful, but what is more painful is when you let exclusion overpower YOUR talent and YOUR ambitions!
Hello everyone! I have waited quite some time to upload some inspirational blogs and stories. The truth is, I am a regular person… specifically,…
Today, January 2, is my mother’s birthday!
Below is a small letter I wrote to my mother! Let me know if your mom is also a major source of your happiness and confidence, or if she contributes to your mentality, mindset, or personality!
I encourage each of you to love your mom, see her for her perfections, not her flaws, and most importantly, obtain gratitude for her existence in your life!
I truly don’t know what to begin with, or how to formulate a much overdue “gratitude note”…. for you have impacted my life in so many ways, that pinpointing a few aspects or even gathering a few reasons that have contributed to your phenomenal role as a mother, as well as contributed to molding my personality, mentality, success, and mindset is frankly impossible.
With that being said, however, I would like to attempt to thank you for all your love, dedication, selflessness, impeccable mother figure, tough love, hard work, philanthropy, and “type A” personality.
Mama, I look up to you each and everyday and fall in awe of your strength and organization skills. You help each person that comes into your life and you positively impact numerous people in need of advice, uplifting, encouragement, or simple guidance. Wether it be big or small, you manage to make a difference, inspire, and improve the people around you.
Not only is your heart pure gold, but your soul is the purest of them all. In addition to your amazing and loving spirit, I would like to praise other aspects of you….such as your mind-blowing and eye-opening SKILLS.
In other words, your “type A” personality and desire to achieve the highest status of success, competitive spirit, determination, development of clear goals, and last but never least, my favorite of all, your ability to somehow achieve whatever you want, whenever you want! Haha! Whenever you put your mind to anything, you not only achieve it, but you set the bar HIGHER than EVER!
Thank you for always fighting through your teeth to back me up, defend my rights, and voice your support in me. Thank you for all the lovely, joyous, humorous, eventful, priceless, and beautiful moments and memories that I have been so lucky to experience with you as your daughter.
I love you more than life, I consider you to be a miracle in my life, and I classify you as the highest of the highest- a queen in my world. No one in my life and entire existence is more presentable or impressive as you are.
I love you more than life, and I hope you know every single day spent on this Earth, I admire you, look up to you, praise you, cherish you, and feel pure gratitude for you in my life.
Happy Birthday, and with all my love and gratitude, Daniella
A glimpse at my most favorite Christmas celebration yet! Moments like these force you to stop, pause, look around, and feel absolute happiness and…
Thanksgiving! ….A fresh breeze of revivalism …what a beautiful meaning and message! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays and I truly can’t think of a better method of encouraging gratitude and appreciation among the nation.
Personally, when I think of Thanksgiving, I instantly reunite with my love and fascination for the post fall and pre-winter season. But navigating beyond the walls of fascination and love for the aesthetics of the season, I dig a level deeper and reunite with my true admiration for the remarkable celebration: the subtle yet humbling reminders of gratitude, appreciation, and humbleness that invade my world and are embedded in the holiday celebration. I feel as though in today’s society, our lives are full of callous. Whether it be work, stress, health complications, family issues, or simply mental exhaustion we are all in need of a simple, kind, and genuine reminder of our blessings.
To be honest, I am to blame for allowing my personal issues, life struggles, and busy schedules outshine the positives of my life. As a result, I find myself allowing the negatives of my life to outshine the advantages, blessings, and many opportunities I have been given.
I know many people are in multiple different stages of life, good or bad; therefore, I am aware that gratitude goes unrecognized at times …we are all to blame for that. However, I appreciate the holiday and its peaceful encouragement of appreciation, gratitude, and humbleness because although we may be struggling and ignoring our beautiful features, blessings, talents, opportunities, health, and more, we are so wonderfully given a single day to exclusively reflect upon our talents and blessings.
My hope is that this holiday season we all put our pain aside and truly give our focus and attention towards the holiday. Not only is the action of reflection upon our blessings crucial to our growth and development, but I strongly believe the practice of gratitude and appreciating our blessings will contribute to cultivating a healthier outlook and personal analysis upon our daily situations.
In other words, my true wish is that whatever you are going through, whatever you may be struggling with, and whatever appears to be sinking your boat, you may practice the action of focusing on what y9ou haver and what you appreciate about yourself. The goal is that in the long run your “list of gratitudes” may receive your soul, provide energy to win your battle, to even out-shine the negatives or hardship in your life.
This Thanksgiving season, my goal is to spend Monday through Friday indulged in self care and self reflection. My goal is to select a gratitude for each day of the week and ponder upon it.
Below are my gratitudes:
- Monday: I am grateful for my wonderful family, whom have blessed me with care, love, and priceless memories.
- Tuesday: I am grateful for my health.
- Wednesday: I am grateful for my confidence, which has molded me to be strong and bold in my own skin
- Thursday: I am blessed for the many educational opportunities, which unfortunately, not many people across the world are given access to.
- Friday: I am grateful for my ambition and most wildest dreams, which encourages me to advocate for people’s mental health and provide a voice to those who need it.
I challenge you to select a gratitude for each day of the week, whether it be something you love about yourself or something you are grateful for, and truly devote your attention and focus to appreciating your opportunities.
Happy Thanksgiving to all YOU strong and powerful women!
Here is a look inside my Thanksgiving Celebration! YUMMY OVERLOAD Here is a video of the delicious Lebanese food! Over 20 different platters A…
Hello, and welcome to “A Big Girl In a Small World.”
My name is Daniella Nassar, and I am just an ordinary girl out of 4 billion girls in the entire world. I am just a small spec in terms of population; however, I have dreams larger than the world and a passion beyond the walls of the Earth. It has taken me about three years to finally gain the courage to talk to you all. You see, I was shy and under the impression that I was just a small number on this world with no voice and a useless opinion. I was under the impression that nothing I did would impact the vast population, so I did what any regular person would do, push their dreams and hopes aside strictly due to fear and the unknown. Have any of you all ignored your dreams purely due to fear? If I have learned one thing in life, I would say, 99.9% of the time, our wildest dreams are reachable, yet WE stand IN THE WAY of our potential and most significant accomplishments.
At the time, I felt like just a number, but the more I stopped standing in my way, the more courage I gathered. I wanted to share with the world my thoughts and my stories so that I could be a voice of comfort or encouragement to those seeking it!
I was bullied out of three schools in one year, never had any friends, was always more mature than my peers, and 100% excluded from birthday parties, events, lunch, and more. I felt like a failure and completely useless. After years of putting up with being laughed at and hurtful exclusion, I noticed things had to be done, and I realized that if I were feeling devastated, someone else around the world had to have been feeling the same way. The thought of someone else feeling as hopeless as I was, broke my heart. In that moment, I knew I had to use my voice and stand up for not only myself but for those around me.
I thought to myself, It takes one person to impact another, so why not start with myself?
You see, if you have a passion, why not let it start with you?
I want to impact the world positively and spread love and joy to those who seek or need it.
Sometimes it takes a huge risk, but once you chase your dreams, I guarantee you, it will be worth it. No hard work ever goes to waste, and I truly have never heard of anyone who had a passion, worked hard at it, yet failed. It is truly impossible.
As I sat in stress, I balanced the two images over and over in my head: chase my dreams and be laughed at for wanting to bring passion to those seeking it, or be taken seriously for bringing communities together in hopes of slowly but surely impacting the world.
When I weighed the two scenarios in my head, the answer was simple. Why not take the risk? I was not afraid to put myself out there any longer. I knew I was called to go after my passion and be a voice for others, and I honestly did not want to live with the regret of never attempting to give my dreams a try!
My goal was to impact at least one new person daily so that in the long run, I would have impacted and spread love across the world. I know that if I bring confidence, passion, assurance, etc. to someone, that person would be willing to do the same to others. Within a small period, we all would have created a community that positively affects millions of people.
Amid all the uncertainty, I pictured a scenario: Let’s say the risk of pursuing my dreams to create a world where the hurt is abolished, is successful. What a shame it would be if I never gave it a shot or allowed my anxiety and worries from the past overwhelm me.
I am so glad I gave it a shot because I would have never known how far my dreams could have taken me if I did not attempt to pursue my dreams.
99% of the time, the hardest decisions are the right ones, and most likely will bring more positives than negatives.
I am going to leave you with this: EVERYONE is gifted and has a story or a platform, so do not let your worries or fears prevent you from impacting the world or pursuing what you so deeply want to achieve.
Hop on my journey with me and help me impact the world and create communities of comfort and love!
This is me coming out of my shell!
This is me following my dreams!
What are your dreams, and how did you work towards achieving them?
Leave a comment below!